Movies Of The Bizarre Vampire Comedies and Hammer Girl Pictures
When you get down to it Most Vampire Comedies are just bad. I do not know how to explain why they are bad. Even the ones that most people like are sub par from other comedies. It is a formula that just does not work. I have seen a lot of movies and I know from experience that bad movies can be funny but bad comedies can be unwatchable. You see if a horror movie fails at being scary well it can be funny because the attempt to scare you by the filmmaker had not been intended for comedy and that is funny because a joke can be something that is unexpected.
A good example of an unintentional comedy scene in a horror movie is when the nurse is running from the Melted Man in The Incredible Melting Man. There are several things that make this funny. The Incredible Melting Man was right before the Slasher craze. So we are expecting a Creature like Jason chasing a beautiful and attractive nurse but instead we get plain Jane nurse who breaks through a door well a glass door and not the glass door you would expect at a hospital that you would be able to crash through with such ease but still what were you thinking? The slow Motion Flat shot of the film does not help and finally the cameraman on Roller Skates adds humor to a scene in which a director was probably envisioning a scary chase in broad daylight with great lighting. You see why directors want to shoot in the dark is that it forces the audience to pay attention to the film more closely. Darkness is more mysterious and it is harder to see people or horror that jumps out at you. You will not expect something that is hiding in the darkness and sometimes it takes several times and creativity to get the shadows right but the payoff is worth it.
Comedies that are unfunny are unwatchable; they are dry or pathetic and you get some uneasy reactions. You feel sorry for the director or actor which gives you a bad feeling or because the film is so unfunny it becomes a boring film that feels like it is running on forever. In the Case of Vampire comedy Films they can come off as creepy or weird.
I will try to explain why I think Vampire Comedies are mostly unfunny and just plain weird most of the time. We all know what is a sex comedy is I probably say if I said sex comedy you would say Porky’s or some Teen movie were a teenager want’s to have sex. Some Vampire comedies can be labeled as a Sex comedy but we are dealing with a creature a Vampire Creature that wants to kill or have the victim under the power of the Vampire which is very unfunny. It is a topic that I cannot see as funny but as horrible. Usually what ends up happening in a vampire sex comedy is that it features scantily clad women being chased by an old guy in a Dracula Halloween costume .
My Uncle Was a Vampire 1959
This is where I start talking About the film My Uncle was a Vampire which was released in 1959. Christopher Lee had just made one of the best Dracula Films of all time in 1958. You make a great Film Christopher lee so what do you do? Well you fly to Italy to spoof the Film. I do not know know if the film was actually released in America in Theaters but the Film was released on Television in 1964 in America. Yes The Hammer girls were a a popular fad in the sixties and seventies for monster fan boys. The Hammer films would have pinup type shoots with pretty actresses posing seductively to help promote the release of their films. Hammer Actresses were mostly not British because the proper British Woman was too prude to do such drivel. My Uncle was a Vampire was a sex comedy that does not stand the test of time. Later films in Italy got scarier in Italy because of the Hammer films popularity in Italy. Italy showed more skin when the censors around the world started to become more liberal. My Uncle was a vampire becomes just a bizarre piece of film because the purpose of showing scantily clad women just seemed tame compared to the sex comedy of the eighties you saw more skin in horror films of the eighties than this film. You will find your self just giving up by the fifteen minute marker of this film. Lee appears twenty minutes after the film starts unless you want to count the casket of the Count .
The Vampire Happening 1971
You have to love the Germans after World War two Japan and Germany became to be known as the Perverts around the world . Germany had their dirty Films and the Japanese had their dirty comic books. I think of lot of this is because of the Military bases that was put there after World War two in those two countries thank you Marshall Plan. The Vampire Happening has the same plot as most Vampire films it has the Castle and gothic dreams and then add a monastery of Monks, an all girl school, a funny gay guy ,one sexy vampire and perverted writers and you got yourself one bizarre Vampire sex comedy for the likes of 42nd street or any X-rated theater at that time. If you like X-rated classics then this film is for you but the bizarre situation the plot has set up to see bare natural Breast in the seventies can make one feel very sleazy.
Son of Dracula (1974)
I hope we are all clean now after looking at those first two films. I almost was just going to focus on vampire sex comedies but weird Vampire Comedies are just not sex comedies. Some are actually Rock Vampire Comedies which does not make them less weird. One time people thought Ringo Starr was funny and this unfortunately made Ringo Starr think he was funny. Ringo Starr wanted to make movies because he could not play music very well. I will just go over the plot and if you think Ringo Starr is talented put down your drugs for a moment and listen to me explain the plot of Son Of Dracula for you.
"Okay just forget you ever saw me okay because the next thing you know we're gonna go out on a date we're gonna fall in love and then some crazy pirate is gonna peg you with a ham bone." This is an actual line from Rockula made by Cannon Films. The film was was made in 1988 you might use your imagination and say that the film might have been better received in the late eighties I mean the music is just as good as any music in a Paula Abdul Music video at the time. The nineties when the movie was released due to Cannon filing for bankruptcy and having no money to distribute the film was leading us to the Grunge era and Gangster Rap and this music does not really work for the time of the nineties. The plot is this, the winy "Virgin?" vampire who lives with his Mom played by Toni Basil and this relationship between Mom and Son has been going on for 400 years. Phoebe played by Basil is one sexy Vampire MILF I feel very comfortable in saying that because she was probably my age at the time. Most Dancers have Great bodies because they have to stay in shape to do those dances.
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