Get Your Funny Bone Tickled By Reading These Tweets
email was a mistake. we shouldn’t be able to communicate this quickly. if my husband died at Gettysburg, that's not my business until next spring.
— elle you see why (@proofrawk) January 4, 2022
Instead of asking "what do you do" I really recommend punching up any social function you happen to be at with "so who do you hate here"
— Delia Cai (@delia_cai) February 20, 2022
My favourite kid I ever taught when I was a swim teacher was this little 4-year-old Italian boy. One time he sneezed and nobody said anything so he just went “what? No bless yous for Giacomo?”
— Philipp Kostelecky (@CheeseCakePCK) March 14, 2022
Don’t let Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck trick you into getting back together with your ex
— Lupe (@lupittaa5) April 9, 2022
At my funeral, take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next.
— Margo Howard (@Margoandhow) May 12, 2022
At work, I say “on it,” way too often for someone who is not, in fact, on it.
— Sarina Jwo (@xaniras) June 15, 2022
Covid has fully convinced me that we would still be working during a zombie apocalypse
— sandy frizzle (@SandyFrizzle) July 18, 2022
My coworker started crying because her boyfriend broke up with her through a text and my manager said “that’s why we stay off our phones at work” 😂
— Big baby❤️ (@Sealveeyah2) August 9, 2022
omg thanks for ending the meeting 4 minutes early and "giving me some time back" -- now I can finally pursue my passions
— i hope this is a good year… (@sablaah) September 20, 2022
Spotify is considering raising their US subscription prices. pic.twitter.com/liCkoluKW8
— Pop Base (@PopBase) October 25, 2022
PLEASE HELP MY BIOLOGY TEACHER ASKED WHATS THE OPPOSITE OF "DOMINANT" AND I CONFIDENTIALLY ANSWERED "SUBMISSIVE" TO THE WHOLE CLASS
— asteriek (@ventthew) November 30, 2022
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