Coconutdaddy Productions

  Every year when the Fourth of July rolls around, I hear my dad’s voice in the back of my mind — that steady, patriotic baritone reminding me that our founders didn’t just want independence… they wanted a day to celebrate it. A day to shout it, sing it, cook it, wear it, and occasionally set it on fire (responsibly, of course). And let’s be honest: plenty of countries have independence days. But nobody does it like us. We’re the loudest, brightest, most “hold‑my‑root‑beer‑and-watch-this” nation on the planet. I was only two when we hit our 200th birthday, but I swear I still remember the Bicentennial like it was yesterday — mostly because the memorabilia was everywhere . On plates, shirts, cereal boxes, toys, gas stations, lunchboxes, socks, and probably a few pets. People thought they were buying future collector’s items. Turns out we bought so much of it that the market is basically: “Congratulations, you own something everyone else also owns.” But that’s the thing — the value...