The Bots I Do Not Friend on Social Media 🚫🤖

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Ah, social media—the land of endless friend requests from people (and bots) you definitely don’t want to engage with. While I love a good meme and a spicy debate, there are certain profiles that make me hit the “ignore” button faster than a toddler running from bedtime. Here’s my Top 5 List of Bots (and People) I Refuse to Friend:

1. The "My Pet is My Entire Personality" People 🐶🐱🐠

Look, I get it. Your dog is cute. Your cat is so quirky. Your goldfish? Well… it exists. But when your entire feed is just you and your beloved fur (or fin) baby, I start to wonder if you’ve ever had a conversation with a human. Like, is your dog filing your taxes too? Because at this point, it seems like they’re running your whole life.

2. The “Boobs Bigger Than My Future” Profiles 🍈🍈

We all know that profile—the one where the profile picture is just pure cleavage. Like, is there even a head attached to this person? Or do they just exist as a sentient pair of chest pillows? I don’t need to wonder where you keep your spare change, your phone, or last week’s leftovers. I’m good, thanks.

3. The “Activism of the Week” Warriors 🎗️✊

Oh look, another person who has swapped out their profile picture for some cause of the moment that they’ll forget about in exactly 72 hours. I’m not saying activism is bad, but if your entire identity changes every time there’s a trending hashtag, I have some questions. Are you really about that life, or are you just here for the likes? 🤔

4. The “My Kid is My Profile Picture” Parents 👶🚫

Listen, I get it—you love your kid. That’s wonderful. But maybe, just maybe, don’t put their face out there for every stranger on the internet to see? Also, I came here to friend you, not some toddler who still eats crayons. This is not Baby Facebook. Post their art on the fridge like a normal parent.

5. The “I Can Make You Rich” Scammers 💰🚨

If I had a dollar for every “business guru” in my DMs telling me they can turn my $100 into $10,000, I would actually be rich—just not because of them. Spoiler alert: It’s always a scam. No, I do not want to “invest” in your totally legit crypto scheme. No, I will not click on your shady link. No, I do not believe you drive a Lambo while sending DMs from your mom’s basement.

So there you have it—the bots and humans I refuse to friend. If you fall into one of these categories, kindly keep scrolling.

#SocialMediaFails, #IGotStandards, #NoScamsAllowed, #KeepYourCleavageToYourself, #YourDogIsNotThatInteresting, #BabyPicsBelongOnTheFridge, #StopTheMadness, #NoIDoNotWantToJoinYourPyramidScheme

 

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