**Coconutdaddy’s Movie Pick: *The Slammin' Salmon* – A Fishy Tale of Fists, F-bombs, and Fine Dining**
Ah, nothing like the delicate world of fine dining—except when it’s run by a psychotic ex-heavyweight champion with a brain made of equal parts muscle and marinara. 🥩🍝 Coconutdaddy has reeled in another wild movie pick, folks, and this week it's *The Slammin’ Salmon* (2009), a comedy that proves if you can’t take the heat, get out of the seafood joint.
### The Plot: Where Punchlines and Punches Are Served Fresh 🥊🐟
Set in an upscale Miami seafood restaurant owned by former boxing champ Cleon “Slammin’” Salmon (played to perfection by Michael Clarke Duncan), the film revolves around one chaotic night of fish flinging, server sabotage, and a desperation to make sales that rivals Black Friday at a discount electronics store. 🛒💥
The Slammin’ Salmon is drowning in debt, and Cleon—who has a special talent for confusing people’s names with pasta dishes 🍝—decides the best way to dig out of the hole is to hold a contest. The employee who sells the most food wins $10,000. The loser? Well, Cleon’s not shy about threatening bodily harm, and when a man with fists the size of porterhouse steaks gives you an ultimatum, you hustle. 🏃♂️💨
### The Staff: A Buffet of Weirdos 🍽️
This restaurant’s waitstaff is as diverse as a sampler platter, and each one’s got more issues than a soggy napkin. First up, there’s Guy (played by *Broken Lizard*’s Michael Heffernan), the manager trying to keep the kitchen from turning into a *Hell’s Kitchen* episode. You’ve got Rich (Kevin Heffernan), a recently unemployed actor who’d rather be anywhere but serving calamari to tourists. Then there’s the neurotic, anxiety-riddled Connor (Steve Lemme), who could sweat through a shirt just thinking about upselling dessert.
And who could forget Mia (April Bowlby), the brainy med student who’s too good for this nonsense but somehow got roped into the madness. Her table-side manner is less “how’s your meal?” and more “do you even deserve to be eating this?” It’s that kind of classy touch. 🍷
### Michael Clarke Duncan: The King of Comedy (And Clobbering) 👑🥊
If anyone steals the show, it’s Michael Clarke Duncan as Cleon Salmon, the most terrifying restaurateur in movie history. Imagine Gordon Ramsay, but with the biceps of a demigod and the vocabulary of a toddler who just learned the word “smash.” Duncan nails the part, blending his physical intimidation with a bizarrely endearing stupidity. One minute, he’s threatening to break someone’s leg if they don’t sell more lobster. The next, he’s confusing “ambiance” with “ambulance.” 🚑🍽️
Cleon Salmon’s logic is the stuff of legends. “I didn’t get hit in the head so many times for nothing,” he says at one point, and honestly, by the end of the movie, you’ll start to wonder if maybe he did.
### Service with a Side of Sabotage 🍤💣
As the night heats up, so do the rivalries. The waiters will stop at nothing to win, pulling every dirty trick in the book—stealing tables, messing with orders, even serving customers food they didn’t order just to rack up the bill. You know, just like your last trip to that five-star restaurant that charged you $8 for water. 💧
It’s a frantic, fast-paced comedy where nobody’s safe—not the waitstaff, not the chefs, and certainly not the customers. The film serves up an endless barrage of physical comedy, insults, and seafood-based slapstick. It’s like *Waiting…* if *Waiting…* were on Red Bull and had a WWE champ threatening to suplex anyone who didn’t sell enough scallops. 🦞💥
### Final Verdict: *The Slammin' Salmon* Is a Catch Worth Keeping 🎣😂
Coconutdaddy’s movie pick this week is a fresh catch of laugh-out-loud moments, served with a heaping side of absurdity. Sure, it might not be Michelin star material, but what it lacks in sophistication, it makes up for in sheer ridiculousness. Whether it’s the sight of Michael Clarke Duncan dressed in a lobster costume, or a waiter getting knocked out by a customer, *The Slammin’ Salmon* delivers exactly what you’d expect from the Broken Lizard comedy troupe: total chaos. 🦐🍹
So, if you're in the mood for a movie where the steaks (and salmon) are high, and the laughs are gut-busting, *The Slammin' Salmon* is the perfect dish for you. Just make sure to tip your waitstaff, or Cleon Salmon might just show up at your door, demanding 20%. 🍽️💸 #SlamminSalmon #SeafoodMayhem #BrokenLizard #CoconutdaddyPick #SurfAndSlam
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