🚨 Account Lockout Chronicles: Amazon, We Have a Problem 😤📵💳
Well folks, gather 'round, because your pal Coconutdaddy is officially locked out of the Empire of Bezos™. That’s right—your favorite Amazon-addicted, Prime-watching, impulse-buying, package-tracking shopaholic is standing out in the digital cold like a lost puppy at an automated warehouse gate. 🐶📦
Here’s the sitch: My Amazon account—my sacred portal to two-day deliveries, last-minute gifts, and those oddly specific kitchen gadgets I definitely don’t need—is currently off-limits. Why? Because my account verification is linked to a phone number that has been cancelled. 🙃📴 Yes, the Ghost of Phones Past now holds the keys to my Amazon kingdom.
Now look, I understand security. I’m not out here asking for my account to be protected by a knock-knock joke and a lucky guess. But having to provide ID to get back into a store I’ve been loyal to longer than some of my friendships? 🪪💁♂️ Come on, Jeff.
Meanwhile, Amazon is still charging me for Prime. Yep, they’re like that ex who keeps taking your money while ghosting your texts. 👻💸 And let me be clear: I loved Amazon. The fast shipping, the convenience, the never-ending digital aisles of doom—I was all in. But now? I'm giving them a very short window to fix this before I cancel my card and start singing “Hello, eBay, my old friend.” 🎶🛍️
Because guess what? I went to Walmart. Yes, WALMART. And you know what I discovered? They’ve stepped up their game. Same goes for eBay. It’s like waking up and realizing your longtime love isn’t the only one with two-day shipping and an unhealthy obsession with cardboard. 😏📦💔
This is what we call growing pains, folks. Only these pains feel like a Prime delivery truck ran over my convenience. I never thought I’d be typing this with such betrayal in my heart, but here we are. Fix it, Amazon… or bye-bye Bezos, hello alternatives.
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